Monday, February 6, 2012

Without Hope or Agenda...

I am writing again on this blog.  The blog I was terrified to start writing until my husband stood over me as I nervously wrote my first post.  I didn't even know what to call this blog, everyone out in blog land had such great titles for their blog and I tried to come up with a name.  

Frugal Missus.

Not a blog about being decidedly frugal or the fact that I am married (ie: the missus part)...just simply a blog about things that I loved.  Top of the list, yard sales, thrifting, DIY, home making, frugality and the pursuit of all.

After nearly two years, I gave up.  I felt that life had become to hard, that I really wasn't connecting with anyone with my blog and posts, the same five people were commenting, etc.  A pity party so to speak. five people RAWK...thank you for always having nice things to say.  

The cold hard reality of the situation that I am sick.  Not in a mental sort of way...well maybe that too...but honest to goodness so sick that I couldn't get better. Hair falling out, rash, fever, aches and fatigue like I had worked 80 hours in a day. 

Skipping all the sorted details, I was diagnosed with Lupus.  That evil life sucking illness that can render you in the fetal position within an hour of a flare up.  That Lupus. 

I didn't say anything when I left, because I was in denial about being sick.  I figured a month off and I would be back with a renewed sense of dedication.   Little did I know that it was not meant to be.

Months later, I started to miss writing, reading and sharing.  I missed all of you...all the followers that still hung in there and the those who sent emails to make sure I was ok.  It's not uncommon to follow a blog for a few years only to have the blogger go MIA.  

I wasn't going to write again.  I was pretty angry (see pity party reference) at life in general.  I had to find that place where I was happy again, or a reasonable facsimile.

After plotting post after post in my head for two months, I had to work up the nerve to find something to post.  Because let me tell you, there have been some major transformations in my life and my home in the last 8 months.  many things I wanted to share but didn't.

The gist is, I stopped being so critical of myself.  I want to blog, I want to write and if there is one person reading this blog still then I will continue to do so.

I might even change the blog around, much like I have changed my life.  So without hope or agenda dear friends, I want you to know that I am back, ready to share with you all. 

Bonne Nuit Mes Amies...



Mandi@TidbitsfromtheTremaynes said...

Oh girl I'm sorry you've had so much health trouble!


I have a BFF from my childhood with lupus as well-- I can only imagine how hard it is.

I hope you do share -- keep on keeping on!

Love ya-

Marigene said...

Audra, I am so sorry you have this debilitating condition. I hope that you will continue posting on your have been missed.
Take care sweetie...and blog away!

decorator to the stars said...

AUDRA, i have missed you so much :) sorry about your illness, but i have a feeling you're a fighter, don't let it beat you.....remember, when life hands you lemons, make lemonade ;)
i have fibromyalgia & some days feel like i have been hit by a truck, but i'm not going to let it win & rob me of what i want to do. please keep in touch i've missed you GIO

Suesan said...

Welcome back. One of my college roommates has Lupus and I know that it can completely alter your life. My prayers are with you and you find your peace in this challenge and find ways to continue to create and share your experiences with your readers.

Anonymous said...

My mama always said, "When you get to the end of your rope---tie a knot & hang on!" Your are still in my thoughts & my cell phone! Writing again, for us, is good for the soul...;)