Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Decluttering My Life...

When I think about decluttering, I always visualize the mountains of crap...oops, treasures I have gathered over the years that I am now learning to let go of.   I see flat surfaces with piles, folded clothes ON THE DRESSER instead of inside, dishes in the sink, things waiting to be put away.

Not the case today.  Today's decluttering has nothing to do with my house, possessions or stuff.  Nothing to do with my attempts to live a slow year or be more frugal.  What it has to do with is NECESSARY LOSSES.  

Cutting out the riff-raff in your life, financial, emotional, physical, etc.  A necessary loss is something or someone that just has to be cut from your life,because they are not enriching, enlightening, or making it better.

Loss by Donna Meyers 

Today's loss is a severed relationship, a twelve year relationship, that I had worked on to build, one I cultivated, molded, trusted and believe in the sanctity of.  I thought it was a special relationship, one forged through illnesses, procedures, deaths, trials and tribulations.  I had the utmost faith in the relationship, even when I started to see tiny fractures traversing their way across the surface of this relationship.  I endured through rushed visits, vague comments, lengthy waits...I waited and waited and waited.  I kept thinking that the state of the relationship would improve, sadly it did not.  Because of these reasons I put off a visit for a year, hoping today I might have a little of his time.  Just 15 minutes of uninterrupted, listening and communication.  That was not the case...instead I was a nobody, a nothing, just a number, just a name on a chart.  That's right, I am talking about my primary care physician.  The man who has been with me through the worst of the worst of physical illnesses, migraines and procedures.  The doctor who knows my body probably better than I do.  My beloved physician.  Today I walked away from man I entrusted my health to for all these years. 

I have to go in once a year for an assessment of my migraines.  This visit usually takes ten or so minutes, we discuss the course of action and he gives me a script for a year supply of migraine medication.  I see him through out the year for other illnesses, but this is just about MIGRAINES.  My doctor  spends 120 seconds with me, he doesn't discuss my migraines, I try to tell him some new developments with my migraines, he brushes it aside. "let's take care of this headache, you can come see me later about the other stuff".  HELLO!  MC FLY?????  I don't have a headache, I need my script so I can get my med's for when I have a headache.

He pops back in with these samples, stating" Take one when you get a migraine, then another two hours later if you still have migraine, but no more than two in 24 hours, I will have the nurse give you a shot for your headache".  UH, I DON'T HAVE A HEADACHE!  I sat in shock for a few minutes digesting what just transpired, then got up and walked out to the hall way.  No doctor, just a nurses assistant.  I quietly told her that I would be leaving, I needed my chart and I would not be requiring these samples as I had no idea what they were or why I was being given these instead of my regular script.  I declined the injection since it wasn't necessary and walked to the counter to pay my bill.  I also filled out a patient release of record form and advised the front office I would have a new doctor requesting my 2 inch file.

I have seen the the fissures, the rushed visits, the longer wait times, brusque comments and the length of time it takes to schedule an appointment.  I excused it away, after all, this is MY doctor, we have history. 

I have made a big girl decision today.  I stood my ground and said SYONARA, AU REVOIR, ADIOS.   He is FIRED from being MY doctor.  I broke up with my doctor.  I cried all the way home.  I am sure he will never even miss me. 



Gwen said...

OH MY GOSH! I am so glad that you severed that relationship. I had to do that about a year or so ago with my X doc. If she had told me one more time to take Valerian for my insomnia, even though it said on my chart that I was allergic to it, I was going to scream.

Here is hoping that you find a great new doctor that takes the time to listen:)

The McCrays said...

Wow! That's so lame! I can't believe he wouldn't even listen to you!! You did the right thing! I'm sure you'll find a better one out there.. who has TIME for his patients!

Betty said...

A similar story....but my beloved gynecologist of 25 years left me....and I didn't know it until after my yearly checkup..he seemed during the visit to go the extra mile and for some unknown reason to me as he exited the room, I blurted out, "if I have a question can I call you? He sweetly answered, "certainly, I've returned calls everywhere but China, I think"...

The next day during a conversation with a friend she informed me that he was retiring at the end of the week and she had been trying to get an appointment with him. I'm sure he thought I knew of his retirement....perhaps it was better that I didn' wouldn't have been a pretty scene to see me on my knees clinging to his legs begging him not to retire....